Here is an article I find interesting as to another reason to uphold my beliefs
Why the Marriage Debate Should Focus on the Needs of Children
When we celebrate marriage, we celebrate the
rights and protection of the most precious and vulnerable among us—our
children. I was reminded of this profound responsibility to these, our
children, in becoming a new mother again just four months ago. This little
soul—who bears the genetic imprint of the father and mother who brought him
into being—looks to us for every aspect of his survival. We are the source of
his understanding of who he is, who he can trust, and where he belongs in this
world.
In seeing such vulnerability, I am reminded of
the pain we have all at some time felt looking to the face of a child who
learns that one of the parents who brought him or her into being no longer
desires to be married to that child’s mother or father—or the face of a child
who yearns to know who his father or mother is and what he or she is like.
Such images cut through abstract ideologies and
theoretical arguments. They remind me again that the most important thing we
can do for a child is to heal and strengthen the relationship that brought him
or her into being and that is the foundation for his or her identity. They
remind me that each child is entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony
and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete
fidelity. They remind me that although adults marry for different reasons—some
better than others—the ultimate societal purpose of marriage is “to protect
children—our only real future—by uniting them with the man and woman who made
them.”
No child can defend these rights him or herself.
It is we—as a society—who must ensure that marriage protects children by
increasing the likelihood that they will be born to and raised by their own
mother and father. In the words of Maggie Gallagher, we must all work together
to help build marriages “strong enough that a child’s heart can rely on them.”
Any discussion about marriage that diverts our
attention from that core concern—and focuses instead on adult
concerns—including adult sexual desires and behaviors—has taken us away from
what the real moral concern of marriage ought to be. The needs of children
should not—must not—be divorced from marriage!
Sadly, current public debates about redefining
marriage are not focused on the needs of the children. Instead the debate is
framed only in terms of adult “rights” and “freedoms” to marry. But in the end,
it is children, who will be the most affected by how we tamper with it.
When we genuinely focus on the needs of
children, we will see through the false idea that mothers and fathers are
replaceable. Children need more than two parents, even two loving parents. For
“all the love in the world can’t turn a mother into a father or a father in to
a mother.” As a mother, I know that my love cannot replace the unique influence
and protection of my children’s father. And their father knows that no matter
how much he tries, his love could never replace the tender nurture of their
mother.
Fathers and mothers give their children
something else fundamental to their well-being. The Chief Rabbi of France,
Gilles Bernheim says it well—“To a child, Father and Mother represent more than
caring affection. They represent the clear and coherent genealogy that allows a
child to find his place as an individual. They situate him in a generational
chain—a chain that guarantees each individual a place in the world in which he
lives, for he knows where he came from…”
Now wonder then when society weakens marriage,
children suffer. Decades of social science research has proved this fact in a
frightening manner. We have long known that a maternal sensitivity is the
single most consistent predictor of a child’s development. But research
similarly confirms the significance of fathers. Children from fatherless
families experience higher rates of incarceration, teenage pregnancy, and
various forms of abuse. When children grow up without their mothers and their
fathers, something seems to happen to their hearts.
We do not have to be against anyone to be for
marriage. And it is not discrimination to ensure that, as much as possible, a child be reared by
his or her married mother and father. Every generation is tested. Every
generation must stand for something. This is our test. Will we stand for
marriage? Much is being said in our society now about being on the “right side
of history.” When we stand on the side of children, we cannot go wrong. May God
bless us to be on their side.
2 comments:
I understand this perspective and can see the value in what the article says, but coming from a child who I could argue how much either of my parents looked out for my best interest all of my life, I can't really relate. I found love and acceptance and most of my identity from other places and I think I turned out OK. I guess people could argue with that though. :)
Here is a good article that I have read written by an active, LDS woman. I am not saying I agree with everything she says, but I thought it was good to give a perspective of how some people can "disagree" with what they have always been taught. If you are interested...
http://sisterarnell.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/the-difficulty-of-dissent/
Melissa, This was a great article! Sometimes we don't look at all sides of an issue because we can't see the perspective from all points of view. That is why we need to follow the prophet of the church no matter what. He leads Christ's church in the latter-days and see's the different perspectives from ALL sides. The Proclamation of the Family defines this issue in clear terms. Keep the faith always!
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